|TERESA DA SILVA|
Every New Year I make a list of resolutions: eat healthier, take exercise, read more, enjoy life more. Alas, half of the list is forgotten long before the end of January. Somehow, that is expected so I shrug the guilt away.
This year I decided to prioritise my students and spent part of my short Winter break preparing for the new school period, planning what-I-thought-to-be interesting lessons and activities, individualising some activities for the weaker students, researching about some of the learning disabilities I had encountered in the first period…and building up the enthusiasm I have always felt for teaching.
I knew I could get through to these students who have become accustomed to mistreating their teachers who, in turn, have given up on them. I knew or, at least, I thought I would be able to sum up the strength to show them that there are those who still care and still believe in them.
I was anxious to get back into the classroom, anxious to make the difference.
Now I realise I am a fool. Nothing changes overnight no matter how hard you have worked at it. I never thought the day would come when I would dread walking into a classroom but these teenagers are making me rethink my career. I came home today and thanked the Lord for not having children of my own because I would not have been able to nurture and love them today. I am exhausted and demotivated. I am irritated and frustrated.
So…my new New Year’s resolution is to summon all my will power, confidence and joy for teaching and learning every time I start a lesson. Hopefully, 2017 will bring me 365 days of courage to accomplish this mission.
Happy New Year!